Authors Note: I choose to write about a fact, because it seemed to me that it would be easier to explain something that really did happen. And there was a lot information to add in to something that did happen.
Snapping turtles terrorize me, ever since a little girl. I went to a family group campsite, there was lake there and we used go in it several times a day. But one day was different I felt as if I was being watched. “Stone cold eyes must be watching me somewhere” I’d thought to myself. Suddenly, I saw an odd chartreuse colored something. It appeared to be a rock..but it was moving. All of the sudden I felt myself begin to panic, I swam as fast as I could because I didn’t whatever it was to catch me. Unfortunately it did, this thing had sunk its teeth into me it felt like glass shards were stuck in my skin. I realized it was a snapping turtle. I kicked and shouted until my father grabbed and pulled me into the boat. Ever since then I’ve been terrified of them. And that’s all I remembered from that frightening day. The rest is dim, which is good. Who would want to remember something like that.
Nice job, Court! The first sentence really grabs the reader! Although the ending was much liked as well! You could have made the bolded 'it' italicized-- that's what I would've done. I also would have added more "types" of sentences to contribute to the sentence fluency. I know you wrote this awhile ago, but maybe you could revise it? Either way, great job!
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